I had this friend, Twenty. Some of you knew her as Mary Jane. Some of you knew her as Aubrey.
I met her so, so many years ago, at Anthony’s Gentlemen’s Club actually.
See I had this thing where when I would start at a new club for the first few shifts I kinda held back. Sat back in the corner like I was shy. I would just watch and not say much and see how the club worked.
When I started at Anthony’s that was unlike any shit I had seen. I was used to clubs in NYC which were very different. Now all of the sudden I had to be on stage performing for 20 minutes every hour.
The dressing room was cramped and small and windowless and reeked of cigarette and weed smoke. The counters were dirty and the chairs were ripped and broken and I usually brought a towel or scarf to lay down on them before putting My bare ass in them. Everyone at that club during that timeframe was always drunk as fuck. And I just hung back for a good long while trying to get the lay of the land. It was tough cuz there was no real rhyme or reason. But what I DID notice was there was this one dancer who literally never went on stage. She was always at the club, always making money, always tipping everybody, but never got on stage. She always seemed to be following guys to the ATM and coming back from the champagne room.
All the other dancers pretty much sneered at her.
They all talked shit.
That basically she was never on stage cuz she was too busy doing extras in the champagne room.
Which of course was true.
Of course I befriended her.
She made more money than like, anyone I had seen. It was incredible. Every once in a while they would make her get on stage but it would never be for more than one song before a customer took her for a private dance.
All the dancers were haters because they thought she looked crazy. She had wild makeup, tons of glitter, these freakin white girl dreads that she wore up on top of her head. She wore like, baby clothes. Like baby headbands as garter belts and baby t shirts with a thong as an outfit.
Sometimes she just wore a scarf as an outfit. Sometimes it was just duct tape. One time it was saran wrap.
It was iconic honestly.
During the first few weeks of knowing her I noticed she had alot of self harm scars that seemed deep and intense, like her. And some that seemed fresh. One night we were both drunk and she was real fucked up and was looking at her own arms and I was just thinking like, what must she be thinking and what is she gonna do now that the club is closed and the night is over and the lights are on. She looked so lost.
So I asked her if she wanted to get a hotel room with Me for the night. And told her I was drunk anyways so it was like she was doing Me a favor. And we stayed up all night and I mean ALL NIGHT talking. One of those weird movie like montages where we ended up with this bonded friendship from that point on. Clublife was weird in that if you hung out with someone outside the club as well as inside the club, you were work friends and also real life friends all of a sudden. And it was serious.
She was just a lil bit younger than Me and she had lived this whole life. She had been in the industry for SO LONG. Before she should have been. She had the soul of like a 75 year old bitter old church lady and she had lived this life. Had kids with some idiot dudes, one of which was an exotic dancer himself and she had this great nanny she paid a TON of money to she that she could dance. She unabashedly turned tricks. She would fight anyone who tried to talk shit about it and basically nobody bothered her.
She did whatever she wanted. Drank as much as she wanted never paid for anything. She was the first person I ever saw just straight of refuse to pay house fee. Like,laugh when the bouncer asked her. She knew she made the club too much money for them to do shit.
She was extremely wild and there’s about a million hilarious, disgusting, traumatizing Twenty stories I could tell. Some of them I probably won’t ever tell until I’m dead cuz I would get arrested.
She did shit that terrified Me regularly.
She drove like a reckless maniac.
She loved Me something fierce but she put My life in direct danger a whole lot of times.
I mean with someone like that you can’t help but end up fucking or dating or making them weird kink family or a model on your site or a porn co star or a life partner or like, all of the above, which is what ended up happening.
She is still the only person to have ever made Me squirt.
We seduced people together regularly and relentlessly and several grown men were just completely terrified of us together.
A force to be reckoned with.
We traveled together. We travel danced, and toured which really grows bonds and life on the road with someone is something really intense in and of itself. Later when I started doing feature parties and such she would always come with Me.
When I had to go into hiding because My murderous ex was trying to find and kill Me, it was Twenty who let Me stay with her. I probably would not be on this earth without her.
Later, she had her own fucking murderous ex.
I let her and her kids come stay with Me and we both cammed and did weird art things and figure modeling and girl/girl porn gigs to make it happen for those kids.
One time when I was in LA for probably definitely a porn shoot, she stayed at the house and when I came home the house was destroyed and I found out she had the abusive ex there and I flipped out and she moved out and we didn’t talk for like two years or more.
We had a relationship like that.
Then one day she came to a workshop I was presenting at a college and it was like nothing ever happened.
But, alot HAD happened in that time. She had gotten fired and banned from like,every single club on the east coast.
Mostly for robbing customers or stealing from the bar or being blatant about doing extras.
Things spiraled at home and her fucking ex had beat her up so bad that he popped one of her fake boobs. She had a traumatic brain injury combined with alcoholism and just wasn’t ever really her same happy self.
We started TeamClearHeels413 together. It was literally HER raising SO much of the money. Literally telling guys to donate lol. She was the one staying up to 2 am with me going from club to club to club bringing narcan.
When I started managing at Club Castaway I was obviously going to hire her.
They didn’t like the way she looked.
But she she still rocked it.
Again the dancers would talk shit.
They’d sit there stunned as she got champagne rooms while wearing sweatpants with no makeup on.
She drove Me crazy and she complained all the time
But she still did nice things like show the fuck up.
And throw Me birthday parties.
And pours Me too many shots
And bring me food.
She made Me so mad but I loved her so so much. It feels weird to say loved because I still love her and it doesn’t feel like it’s diminished at all. I just love her more now. The more I think about her.
I know she would want Me to share her stories and her pictures and she would be damn proud of this site and she’d probably be the only one who cared.
When she passed away her family had asked people to commit a random act of kindness in her memory. Which is dope. You should. She was extremely kind. She did nice things for other people all the time.
One time she was living in a fucking tent with her kids, farming a small plot of land and growing her own food and working at the club. And she would bring in these big huge baskets of vegetables and give them away to these ungrateful bitches who probably don’t even remember her. This bitch lived in a tent and she was sharing what little she had.
I could go on and on and on and talk about her and our relationship for days.
I have so many feels.
I have not finished grieving, and I don’t know how time will change My feelings.
But, I like looking at these pics. Photos by Bob Coulter at the birthday party for Nik Sin.
She wanted to take sexy pics in a trash can. She was so fucking into the concept and of course Bob Coulter was the perfect person to take pictures of it.
So here’sMe and Twenty and Viktoria. Viktoria and Twenty were like, besties. Working as a stripper is sorta like high school, there’s cliques and stuff. And Viktoria and Twenty, they were like so cool they didn’t give a fuck who liked them or not.
So, Twenty, may she rest in peace forever.
You can commit an act of kindness today in her memory. You can also commit an act of anarchy, cuz she would have liked that too.
[ngg src=”galleries” ids=”78″ display=”basic_thumbnail”]Can’t get enough of wild wild Twenty? Yah, I know She is kinda addictive that way. Check out her official VendettaVerse profile I made: